I am Athenlea

Trust

noreply@blogger.com (Athenlea Angeline) — Sun, 13 May 2012 02:48:00 +0000

"Trust is what allows us to have meaningful relationships with other people; without it, we cannot converse without wondering whether the person speaks truthfully. You would be unable to believe what another is saying. I do think there are different levels of trust and that being skeptical of many others is wise. Without any trust at all, however, life becomes quite lonely."

from: http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20061129070907AAXmlRI

I never had issue trusting people. Never. But now i guess i do. I really dont wish my eraser getting smaller and smaller. Especially the eraser that named "Guys".
On a seprate note.. It is Mother's Day today. Happy Mother's Day to all moms. Being a mum is the toughest job in the world. And so, i salute my mum for her dedication to the family. I love you mum, forever. :)

I am a Michael Killer

noreply@blogger.com (Athenlea Angeline) — Mon, 07 May 2012 12:30:00 +0000

Made a wrong turn

Once or twice
Dug my way out
Blood and fire
Bad decisions
That's alright
Welcome to my silly life

Mistreated this place
Misunderstood
Miss knowing it's all good
It didnt slow me down.

Mistaking
Always second guessing
Underestimating
Look I'm still around

Pretty, pretty please
Dont you ever, ever feel
Like you're less than
Fucking perfect

Pretty, pretty please
If you ever, ever feel
Like you're nothing
You're fucking perfect to me

You're so mean
When you talk
About yourself, you were wrong
Change the voices in your head

Make them like you instead
So complicated
Look how we all make it
Filled with so much hatred
Such a tired game

It's enough
I've done all I can think of
Chased down all my demons
I've seen you do the same

Oh

Pretty, pretty please
Dont you ever, ever feel
Like you're less than
Fucking perfect

Pretty, pretty please
If you ever, ever feel
Like you're nothing
You're fucking perfect to me

The whole worlds scared
So I swallow the fear
The only thing I should be drinking
Is an ice cold beer

So cool in line
And we try, try, try
But we try too hard
And it's a waste of my time

Done looking for the critics
Cause they're everywhere
They don't like my jeans
They don't get my hair

Exchange ourselves
And we do it all the time
Why do we do that?
Why do I do that?

Why do I do that?

Yeeeeaaaahhh
Oooooooh
Oh baby pretty please

Pretty, pretty please
Dont you ever feel
Like you're less than
Fucking perfect

Pretty, pretty please
If you ever, ever feel
Like you're nothing
You're fucking perfect to me

You're perfect, you're perfect

Pretty, pretty please
If you ever, ever feel
Like you're nothing
You're fucking perfect to me

It's kinda silly for me to say such things but when i was younger, guys just want to get into my pants. I dont know why, how that i could have such influence in men but ultimately they just want to get into my pants. I am open in discussing sex issue but that was just to give you boys some tips so you wont be embarrass the next time you sleep with the girl you like. I might be open but i do still need some respects from the guys. Im doing the guys a favour and yet.. i just got slapped on my face over and over again. It might be interesting to you guys but seriously, have you all thought about what will i feel. I am not just someone that you can have free fuck, i am someone that want a guy to treat me seriously.

If you all have been thinking why i treasure my summer so much, because he treated me like a lady. Proper lady.

I'm sick of guys that talked to me in a euphemsim manner. Please guys, dont come hurting me in this manner anymore. I dont know how long i can hold on to the faith i had for love but just dont toy around my sincerity. I am looking for a true gentleman that will treat me properly like a lady and not just some jerks that just want free fuck. There's dozen of girls outside are dying/wanting to get laid, please go to them instead.

On a side note, i think my previous life was a killer that specially kill people that named Michael. Because in this life, the number of Michaels that ive met.. was so many that it became my most common friends name. Or strangely enough, people that named Michael were more attracted to me. Perhaps people that named Michael loves my name.

I'm tired. Good night everyone.

"Dear Cupid, please.. i need a gentleman. No more, really no more guys that will speak to me in an euphemism manner. My fragile heart cant seems to be able to take it anymore. Love you cupid."

Compel

noreply@blogger.com (Athenlea Angeline) — Sat, 05 May 2012 09:42:00 +0000

It was Emme's 27th birthday yesterday and her wish is to be able to find a significant other soon. We all do wished that for her and for ourselves. But the million dollar question is.. When.
I bumped into the boy that saw me. -> http://www.athenlea.com/2012/02/shooting-star.html
He was with a girl and the next moment before i know, i cried badly again. It hurts, seriously it does and i dont know why. It seems like when the first time i met him, i was crying and the last time i saw him, i cried too. Is that the reason why people say Lust is a sin, lust is evil?

Here we are
Isn't it familiar
Haven't had someone to talk to
In such a long time
And it's strange
All we have in common
And your company was just the thing I needed tonight
Somehow I feel I should apologize
Cuz I'm just a little shaken
By what's going on inside

I should go
Before my will gets any weaker
And my eyes begin to linger
Longer than they should
I should go
Before I lose my sense of reason
And this hour holds more meaning
Than it ever could
I should go
I should go
Baby, I should go

It's so hard
Keeping my composure
And pretend I don't see how
Your body curves beneath your clothes
And your laugh
Is pure and unaffected
It frightens me to know so well the place I shouldn't go
I know I gotta take the noble path
Cuz I don't want you to question
The intentions that I have

I should go
Before my will gets any weaker
And my eyes begin to linger
Longer than they should
I should go
Before I lose my sense of reason
And this hour holds more meaning
Than it ever could
I should go
I should go
Baby, I should go

I don't mean to leave you with a trivial excuse
And when you call tomorrow, I'll know what to do

I should go
Before my will gets any weaker
And my eyes begin to linger
Longer than they should
I should go
Before I lose my sense of reason
And this hour holds more meaning
Than it ever could
I should go
I should go
Baby, I should go

As you all know that i have been watching vampire diaries, there's this ability that the vampire can do - compel

If there is such things as compel, i think i might want to be compelled to forget about my summer. It's has been awhile now but i still cant seems to treat him like a normal friend. Everytime when i saw his name, my heart cringes. I cant afford to go through what i had gone through last night - what if the boy is my summer.
If i were to be compel, i will want all my memories of him and the rest of caucasians to be gone. As much as i love the differences in both culture, i dont think i am game for it. Im too fragile and not as open minded as a caucasian. Ive figured that if i stick back to be with Asians, my life will be better and all these emo nemo post will never appear again.

Do you know what you want

noreply@blogger.com (Athenlea Angeline) — Wed, 02 May 2012 14:35:00 +0000

My friend told me that i dont know what i want, i told him that he's right. I really dont know what i want. Currently im experiencing something that i have never felt before - empty. Since young, i always have someone in my mind, be it a bf of that moment or a fling. Right now, there's no one. Occasionally i still miss my summer for awhile but that's all about it.

What went wrong?

1) I didnt hang out as much as before - True. I seldom go out now. I head home straight after work and watch my vampire diaries or surf the net.

2) Even if i hang out, i didnt talk to boys - True. I rarely go chat up with men now. I just wait for them to chat up with me.

3) I'm less active on the net - True. I used to have several accounts and now i just have 1 left. No reason why i decide to only remain 1 account but i guess i just felt tired.

4) I'm burying myself with work- True. Work, family and friends is all taking up my time now (and of course vampire diaries) and i just never initiate to go out with friend's friend or friend's party.

So conclusion, i just decide to ignore this part of my life and carry on with my normal life. I even asked if this is normal and thank god, everyone says that it is. *phew*

I do feel envious when a couple walk passed me. I will miss the feeling of having someone hugging me to sleep, holding my hand, kissing etc etc. But then again, i asked myself how am i going to make a relationship work. Also, how to substain the love. I cant figure out how, i just give up and think singlehood is better. I convinced myself that i still have a lot more things to do in life and if i am being tied down with a bf, i cant possibly do these things anymore.

Someone told me that it need not need to be a sacrificing way of doing it.

True, but i dont think i will ever be so lucky to find someone that is all that i need and also being my best friend, my soulmate when i, myself dont even know what i want.

Conclusion: It's best to know what i want before i blindly fall into a lovey trap again.

xoxo

Checklist

noreply@blogger.com (Athenlea Angeline) — Sun, 15 Apr 2012 18:45:00 +0000

Ok, so right now im watching Vampire Diaries for awhile now and i absolutely loving it. It makes me feel more young actually. Haha~

Supposed to go to Phuket for Songkran on Thursday but ive decide to cancel the trip because of the 8.7 Sumatra earthquake.

He was in indonesia when the earthquake happened. I was soooooo worried because he was staying by the sea. Called the hotel that he was supposed to be staying but he wasnt there. He went for a homestay instead. But now he's back and im glad that he's safe and sound.

I hasnt let go of him did i. I dont know why but when i thought i had let go, i realised i do still miss him occasionally. Remember i did blogged before that i thought my autumn has arrived and i can finally say goodbye to summer? Things didnt worked out and im back to summer's period again. It seems like Summer was really what im looking for in a bf (except a bad habit of his) and that's it. That's all im looking for yet i cant find anyone that's similar anymore. I decide to write out my criteria for a bf:

Behaviours:
1) Someone that has good scent - No body odor, no bad breathe, no stinky feet, no bad bed smell. (trust me, some guys will just have that kind of "bed's smell" that is really very unpleasant.

2) Someone that has good hygience - ok, i admit. Im a clean freak. I kinda have those little habits like i wont lie down on my bed when i hasnt shower, when im wearing my dirty clothes. Washing my hand and feet is the first time i do when i reached home.

3) Someone that has good toilet ettiquettes - Showering etiquettes just simply means: No peeing while showering (Hey, there's guys doing that when they shower alright!), pee drips all over the seat cover when peeing and have no courtesy to wash it off, never flushed after they have done their business, never bother to refill the toilet paper when he's the last person to finish the rolls.

4) Someone that cleans up the house - I cant stand dirty plates in the sink or trashbin is so full that you can smell the stench that comes out from the bin already. Obviously it's there for days. Bedsheet hasnt been cleaned for the past 2 weeks or the clothes has been piling there for days. I mean all these chores are something to prove if the guy are lazy or a born procastinator that he will think these things will automatic be done the next day he wakes up. So being with this kind of guy makes me feel like he's just treating me like a fuckable maid.

Characteristic:
5) Someone that is not boastful, snobbish, full of himself, narrow-minded, self centred, low esteem, disrespectful, unfilial, liars, unromantic, spendthrift, caring, selfish, egoistic, ungrateful, unfaithful, irresponsible, judgemental, dull, boring, illiterate - Trust me, ive met someone like this before. OK, not all but at least he has checked about 15 of these behaviours. I just want a guy that is not all above and of course, with a touch of smartness. Street-smart, not those smartie smart please. Smartie smart = boring to me. *yawn*
In another word: I want the guy to be humble, confident, respectful, filial, romantic, caring, faithful, interesting, spontaneous, street-smart. (is that a lot to ask for? - maybe.)

6) Someone that has good and morally right ambition - Who will like a guy when he say:"My ambition is to the company CEO and im willing to sell my whole family just to be that sucessful." Hello~~~ This is so wrong.

7) Someone that take good care of his health - Seriously, i dont want my husband to die that young. I dont want to be a widow so soon.

Appearance:
8) Someone that is not that big sized - Im not that skinny but i think i still fall under the category: Petite. I'm not trying to be mean to say big sized guys wont be loved or those that has some flaws in appearance is ugly. I can understand the pain for those that have flaws in appearance. It's not their call to have flaws - who want to be ugly if they were given a choice. Im not pretty either but i am guilty to call myself a visual creature. (Well, at least i owned up) Perhaps i'll be the fool because there is a lot of gentle giants out there, but im really sorry.. I cant.

9) Someone that is not too hairy - Even though i always love werewolves but hey, they only turned every full moon. So thanks but no thanks, i prefer average hair volumn kind of boys.

10) Someone that is a difference race from me - Ok, i hear you~ Must be thinking that im one of those SPGs (*sarong party girls, better known as ‘SPGs’, who crave white men of any shape, size or intellect which is also a mental image of a long-haired, scantily-clad money-grubbing Asian wannabe tai-tai, who exclusively dates Caucasians only) but HELLO~ Im not money grabbing. I dont care what job he has and yes, i do care about the intellectual of the guy~ So nope, im not a SPG. If i am, i would have been attached for the longest time. Duh. I just like guys that has different culture from mine, that is independent and expressive. Not to say chinese men cant do it, but ive only met one before however, we didnt last till the day we decide to walk the aisle.

11) Someone that is not that tall - Im only 1.56cm, of course i prefer shorter boys. Perhaps a 1.74 is fine for me.

Sex:
12) Someone that is circumsized - I think i have emphazied this before -> http://www.athenlea.com/2010/08/sexcuassion-circumcise.html

13) Someone that has curve dick - After ive tried it, i think it is really my kind of dick. LOL.

14) Someone that is not too big/too long - Prefer size: 6 - 6.5 inches. Hey, im not into fisting so i dont need long and big dicks. LOL.

15) Someone that knows how to respect women in bed - Some guys only care about themselves in bed. So long they cum, who cares about the woman. I'll never want to meet this kind of boy. *flipping the bird*

16) Someone that will cuddle - This is my favourite part. Which women doesnt like to be cuddle? Women has higher oxytocin than men, dont deny it.

Jobs:
17) Someone that is arty farty - Ok, this is just good to have, not a must have. I like guys that are arty farty, that uses the right brain more than left. But as i mentioned. this is just good to have.

You have come to the end of my list. So, am i fussy or im asking for the sky? I know im not because.. My summer has it all - Except he scores 20 out of 21 under point 5.

I hear you again - when i asked for all those points above, i do also have to know that if i myself can be like that as well. I think i am for majority points but there's always rooms for improvement. Im not perfect and i will definitely try for the sake of the relationship.

So yes, i will keep looking and looking and looking - until im gonna be on the shelf for the longest time. :(

*reference from: http://www.singlishdictionary.com/singlish_S.htm

Facebook practice

noreply@blogger.com (Athenlea Angeline) — Mon, 12 Mar 2012 16:09:00 +0000

There's this thing in me - that i usually dont add people that i really love in my facebook. I dont allow them to add me as well.

Because my heart will not be able to take it that i am not there when he is having fun.

I want to be there with him, laugh with him, be happy together with him. I really want to, really do. :(

Once, a book for relationship says:"Usually the healing period depends on how many years you two are together. If you are together for a 3 years, the healing period will be 3 months. 4 years, 4 mths." So, by right i should have healed last year but why hasnt i feel that ive passed that stage. Perhaps, he's the unique one.

"I missed you. And i know i should keep a distance from you but you are always there for whenever im sad. I wished i have never fall for you before.. because now i know how lonely it is to be without you."

Congratulations

noreply@blogger.com (Athenlea Angeline) — Thu, 01 Mar 2012 12:59:00 +0000

Yes, congratulations to myself because i've got promoted - Assistant Manager. It's only acting now and official is coming in the later half of the year. Never thought that i will be having managerial title associated with my name but yeah, i definitely feel kinda proud for myself. :)

Just feel like saying:

- Sometimes, you just met the person at the wrong place, the wrong time and there's no 2nd chance to mend up the mistaken impression.

How i wish i can properly introduce myself so i wont be mistaken as someone with another different lifestyle. But things always happen for a reason, right?

Shooting star

noreply@blogger.com (Athenlea Angeline) — Tue, 28 Feb 2012 17:01:00 +0000

Someone told me that i shouldnt be chasing after a shooting star when i said i want the sky.

Have you ever thought that one day you'll unexpectedly bump into someone and suddenly you just like the person?

Ive been waiting for a prince charming to appear and swept me off my feet unexpectedly. I know, im living in a fairy tale but i choose to keep on dreaming. Someday i'll have to wake up and tell myself there's no such things. If it really exist, probably it wont be me either.

"Lorna: Well, you're Prince Charming isn't coming to rescue you in a horse and carriage. That's not who you want. I mean, you're looking...you're looking for a man to be your partner. You could take on the world with." - Friends with benefits

See. There's really no prince charming is gonna come and rescue me from my lonely tower and yes, im looking for a man to be my partner - someone that i can take on the world with. But, who's the man? Ive been asking myself this for the longest time - it's a million dollar question.

Ive met a boy and he sticks out his hand and pull me in for a dance when i was at my shittest moment. That moment, im smitten by him - just in a snap of a finger. I never felt this way before and i really have a good feeling about him. However, im just like cinderella - when the clock strikes 12, everything back to reality. When you think finally there's a prince charming but reality just fall hard on you that no, he's actually someone that just wear a shiny amour and nothing else left inside. Where's the warm body and the heart - nil. It's just a ghost with a shiny amour.

Maybe i should wake up my idea and for once, face the fact that there's no fairy tales ever.

Friends with Benefits

noreply@blogger.com (Athenlea Angeline) — Sat, 25 Feb 2012 19:11:00 +0000

Ok, i kinda tell myself that im not going to watch this movie friends with benefits because someone once told me it's a crappy show. But i watched it anyway - out of boredom.

So inside has some classic advice -

"Tommy: That never works, bro! She's a girl, sex always means more to them. Even if they don't admit it." - friends with benefits

So true enough, after i watched it, it just tell me that you can have a BFF (platonic friendship) but never a friend with benefits - Girls will still get hurt in the end no matter how much of a tough cookie she is.

Tommy did say something that i feel sweet as well:

"Tommy: It's not who you wanna spend Friday night with. It's who you wanna spend all day Saturday with." - friends with benefits

Yup, unfortunately guys usually take flight before the saturday or sunday can happen. Why does it always have to be like this - takes off. There's a scene in the movie that Jamie was dating with this guy and she has a 5 dates rules. Meaning she will only have sex with the date after they have 5 dates. And so, on the 5th dates, they sex. But guess what happen? The classic act happens again - the date take flight. Now tell me, what's the use of dating and dating and dating when in the end, the guy still leave after having sex, after taking what they want.

So what's the freaking problem now. To date or not to date. Dates dont guranteed you a man, a bf then what else will.

- Straight away and go up to the guy and tell him:"I love you and i want to be your gf?" - im pretty sure the guy will run away.

- Tell the guy that you are madly in love with him and beg him dont go?

- Tell the guy that it's either marriage or no more?

All aboves are craps. (please dont do it, we still have our diginity as a woman) But what i mean was, how to make sure that the guy dont take flight and dont treat you like just a sex partner? Im pretty sure no matter how experienced Jamie is that comes out with that 5 dates plan, she still get dumped.

Where's the simple courtship teenage love that i used to have, used to know and used to see.

In the name of love

noreply@blogger.com (Athenlea Angeline) — Wed, 22 Feb 2012 15:26:00 +0000

Sometimes, just sometimes, girls just love to dig their own grave - in the name of love. I think that's what ive been doing lately. LOL.

Preference

noreply@blogger.com (Athenlea Angeline) — Tue, 21 Feb 2012 11:21:00 +0000

Sunshine was telling me that probably we should just close our eyes and find someone that loves us more than we love them, if not we will be left on the shelf soon. (FYI, we are hitting 30s)

I told her:

It's not that we are demanding, it's because we are persistent.

It's not that we are fussy, it's because we are selective.

We know exactly what we want and we cant be like the other girls that accept come what may. We are constantly fighting with our fate to seek for what we really want.

it's a risk that we are taking on because what if the right one just wont appear? What if you actually missed the right one? (that wont really happen for now because we are single STILL) But be it or not, we chose this path, we chose to be persistent in what we want.

Happy Vday Mister

noreply@blogger.com (Athenlea Angeline) — Tue, 14 Feb 2012 10:50:00 +0000

I was young but I wasn't naive
I watched helpless as you turned around to leave
And still I have the pain I have to carry
A past so deep that even you could not bury if you tried

After all this time
I never thought we'd be here
Never thought we'd be here
When my love for you was blind
But I couldn't make you see it
Couldn't make you see it

I would fall asleep
Only in hopes of dreaming
That everything would be like it was before
But nights like this it seems are slowly fleeting
They disappear as reality is crashing to the floor

After all this time
I never thought we'd be here
Never thought we'd be here
When my love for you was blind
But I couldn't make you see it
Couldn't make you see it
That I loved you more than you'll ever know
A part of me died when I let you go

After all this war
Would you ever wanna leave it
Maybe you could not believe it
That my love for you was blind
But I couldn't make you see it
Couldn't make you see it
That I loved you more than you will ever know
A part of me died when I let you go
That I loved you more than you'll ever know
A part of me died when I let you go

Just when i least expect a msg from you, you appeared and send me a greeting that you never believed in. You said Valentine's day is a Hallmark gimmick but you still wished me happy valentine's day before hugging me to sleep. This year, there's no hugging yet there's a greeting that come unexpectedly.

Happy Vday young lady.

"I couldn't make you see it that I loved you more than you will ever know. A part of me died when I let you go."

Fated but not destinated

noreply@blogger.com (Athenlea Angeline) — Tue, 07 Feb 2012 17:13:00 +0000

How true isnt it. Look at me, all i can do is to just type it here in a place where maybe not more than 10 peoples will even read it. All the whines, rants, emotions etc etc.

When your day are so bad, all you need is just a msg from the one you love, from the one that is the closest to your heart and everything will just automatically be fine. Everytime when i have the biggest challenge in my life, a surprise msg will just pop up.

It's late at night now and im supposed to be asleep. Yet msges from you keeps me awake from feeling tired. I want to be back at the time where your nose and mine were touching each other, our lips were kissing gently when we were asleep. I want to be in those sleeps that you will hug me like i'll run away in the middle of the night. I want to be awake by a kiss from you on my forehead and when i open my eyes, you are charming me with your biggest, brightest smile and greet me good morning. That was the sweetest moment ever when im with you.

There are things where we are fated to meet but not destinated to be together. But it's ok, at least we have happy moments before and that makes the journey counts. Be contented and thank god that we have met.

"And in other life I would make you stay. So I don't have to say you were the one that got away, The one that got away."

Bromidrosiphobia

noreply@blogger.com (Athenlea Angeline) — Tue, 31 Jan 2012 07:57:00 +0000

Wondering what it is?

- Bromidrosiphobia is the fear of people who smell bad.

from: http://www.fearofstuff.com/humans/fear-of-body-smells/

Can love really conquer all? or maybe i dont love enough.

Im pretty stress and i dont know how to handle an event happening in my life now. Maybe i just want to fall into a deep sleep and when i wake up, it's a whole new world.

or maybe, i see go see a psychologist.

Wow

noreply@blogger.com (Athenlea Angeline) — Sun, 29 Jan 2012 09:12:00 +0000

Wow wow~ It seems like my last post is almost a months ago. Hmmmm. Not that im giving up but as what people say, no news means good news huh. :)

So, beanie is arriving tomorrow 6am and im kinda excited + nervous about it. I think all my friends are excited/nervous about it too. LOL. It's an unique experience that none of my peers has encounter such things before.

So guys, i'll update you soon on how things goes! :D

Gong Hei Fatt Choy everyone! :D

2012

noreply@blogger.com (Athenlea Angeline) — Mon, 02 Jan 2012 05:18:00 +0000

Yes everyone, we have successfully walked into 2012. I celebrated with my girlies and it's quite an enjoyable session. Not much drinking, just chit chat and watch fireworks. Me like this way of welcoming 2012.

My new year resolution was to.. stop taking fags (as per beanie) and his new year resolution is to get in shape. lol.

How about you guys? What's your new year resolution? :)

Torn

noreply@blogger.com (Athenlea Angeline) — Thu, 01 Dec 2011 12:57:00 +0000

Im torn.

Im upset.

Im confused.

Im tired.

Everytime when im slightly disappointed, the feeling just feel so surreal that reminds myself why am i allowing people to disappoint me, why am i still not protecting myself, why am i that hostile, why am i so defensive.

I was never such a person and why am i displaying all those evil side to my poor Autumn. He's a poor boy that is taking all my nonsense. I am grateful to have someone to treat me like his most precious item, like his glass flower. Yet.. i couldnt explain why am i so demanding towards him.

Is it because Summer has really gave me so much insecurity and now im just living in a shell that i dont allow anyone that claim to love me to bully me anymore. Or im have not recover from the previous scar.

I seriously hate myself for being a bitch to my Autumn, because he dont deserve to tolerate this side of me. He deserves better. Where's the better me :(

The once crazy young love

noreply@blogger.com (Athenlea Angeline) — Tue, 22 Nov 2011 11:13:00 +0000

Summer after high school when we first met
We make out in your Mustang to Radio head
And on my 18th birthday we got that chain tattoos
Used to steal your parents' liquor and climb to the roof
Talk about our future like we had a clue
Never plan that one day I'd be losing you

And in another life I would be your girl
We keep all our promises, be us against the world
And in other life I would make you stay
So I don't have to say you were the one that got away
The one that got away

I was dreaming you were my Johnny Cash
Never one, we got the other, we made a pact
Sometimes when I miss you, I put those records on, whoa
Someone said you had your tattoo removed
Saw you downtown singing the blues
It's time to face the music, I'm longer your muse

And in another life I would be your girl
We keep all our promises, be us against the world
And in another life, I would make you stay
So I don't have to say you were the one that got away
The one that got away

The one, the one, the one
The one that got away

All these money can't buy me a time machine, no
Can't replace you with a million rings, no
I should've told you what you meant to me, whoa
'Cause now I pay the price

In another life I would be your girl
We keep all our promises, be us against the world
And in another life, I would make you stay
So I don't have to say you were the one that got away
The one that got away

The one, the one, the one, the one

And in another life I would make you stay
So I don't have to say you were the one that got away
The one that got away

Immediately, this reminds me of my once crazy young love -> you. *sigh* :(

Wow

noreply@blogger.com (Athenlea Angeline) — Wed, 09 Nov 2011 00:02:00 +0000

I made a fool out of myself. I'm a fool.

Why only say you miss me when I'm gone.
Why only want to have a real heart to heart chat when I'm gone.
Why only when I'm gone, you realised you have missed one good girl out.

This is what we call - 犯贱.

-Signing off, Athenlea

心

noreply@blogger.com (Athenlea Angeline) — Tue, 01 Nov 2011 14:21:00 +0000

为什么破碎的心还比完整的一颗心还重。这个道理... 我不懂。

-Signing off, Athenlea

Looking back

noreply@blogger.com (Athenlea Angeline) — Tue, 18 Oct 2011 16:14:00 +0000

Looking back at 2010, it's really a shitty year. A really uber duper shitty year. I'm so glad that it's over and done with. I don't even know how did I managed to live then. Partying, drinking, smoking was all I did, nothing is right. I do not wish to have such life again. Never ever.

2011 isn't really been kind to me only until now. I can't wait for December to arrive now. Because I'm counting down with someone special to my brand new year. :)

-Signing off, Athenlea

Something simple, something sweet

noreply@blogger.com (Athenlea Angeline) — Sun, 16 Oct 2011 13:55:00 +0000

Someone that love you will:

- Bring you back to see his family during christmas.
- Does not want to hear anything about you dying.
- Protect you and make sure you are well taken care of if he leaves this world.
- Give in to you and let you lean on him like he's the pillar of your life.
- Trust you completely, give you freedom and respect what you are doing.
- Wont let you worry about anything.
- Treat you like his treasure.

This is what we call.. Love. :)

500 days of You

noreply@blogger.com (Athenlea Angeline) — Sun, 02 Oct 2011 07:25:00 +0000

Ive just watched 500 days of Summer and it reminds me of you. Yes, you were exactly like summer. You dont want a relationship, you like me, you hold my hand, everything.

I should have watch it earlier so i will not go through what Tom has exactly gone through in the movie. I fully understand the feeling and it is really shitty. I really do. Including screwing up my job and getting drunk and stuffs.

Tom says this to Summer:" I really wish you happy." - Which is what i have told you exactly.

Right now, i just have to say.. Goodbye Summer, My Autumn is here. ;)

Where has it gone to

noreply@blogger.com (Athenlea Angeline) — Wed, 28 Sep 2011 09:11:00 +0000

And now all I wanna see
Is a sky full of lighters,
A sky full of lighters.

Arent we supposed to light our wishing lanterns? Now tell me where has it gone to. Can i wish that the feelings will just be like the lanterns?

-Up and away.

Cheating

noreply@blogger.com (Athenlea Angeline) — Sat, 10 Sep 2011 10:44:00 +0000

Isn't it heartbreaking when you know your partner cheats on you while you thought both of you are madly in love.

"This is the hurtful truth" said sweetheart.

Cheating occurs to everyone, be it in their past, present, future or subconciously. I admit I did cheat before when I was younger and I felt so guilty till now. I wished I didn't do that to my ex bf but I did.

At least I felt guilty but some don't even think that it's wrong. What's wrong with them.

What happen to those faithful love that will love their partner till the day they died. Has the advanced technology screwed up this poor little undying love or we the human has decide to place faithful in lower priority and pushed selfishness up. How often have we found out the truth via by technology - almost very often now. Or maybe I should actually say that we should all thanks to technology so our time will not be wasted on one unfaithful person that does not cherish us and move on so other lucky person can have us.

Yes, not all men and women cheats. Some stayed faithful and loyal but this percentage is dropping. So tell me, am I just naive or I'm just oblivion to the delicate truth.

I missed the time where writting letters and receiving them weekly. Who ate my pigeons! :(

-Signing off, Athenlea