I am Athenlea

Anniversary

2010-03-11T14:24:00.005+08:00

Happy 4th Anniversary bloggie. U have been wif me for 4 yrs n im still loving u dearly. Although ther r times wher i mite forget about you but i'll still come back to u no matter wat. U r always ther for me, ready for me to rant, ready for me to cry my hrt out. I'll cont to love u as long as the domain allows me too.

I love u my dear blog. *hugz*

Cleaning up

2010-03-10T17:10:00.005+08:00

Yup, deleted twinkle's pics away. I do not want anybody else to c at all. Those who has seen, lucky u. Tml is my anniversary for bloggin for 4 yrs. Yesh, 4 yrs consecutively bloggin. Wat a surprise. I always wonder hw long i can cont bloggin and guess wat, ive been bloggin for 4 yrs.

Definately dis is smting dat im happy abt but smtin makes me feel negative as well. Bcoz all my post is abt dat fellow. Which makes me feel dat hw can a love dat used to b so strong, dimished in thin air. All the sweet words dat ive document down, all the pics, all the emotions.. Juz served as memories nw.

Well, the standard phrase will be:"things happen for a reason."

I always wonder y i dun have a supermodel height, supermodel looks, blah blah blah. Juz a normal plain jane dat walks down the road everyday.

But... Im still happy. Bcoz, at least im normal, im healthy.

Smbody in this world prob dun mind the scar on the face so long she can c, so long she can speak. If you give ur love probs to a third world country ppl, they r more den happy to take it from you.

From the example above, u can tell dat hw lucky u r, hw fortunate dat you still have ur limps attached to ur bods, all ur senses is working.

So, compare to the love probs dat u r fussing over rite nw, u'll realise dat it's a trival matters. Ppl are fussing over food and we r fussing over smting luxury. Love is smting dat is gd to have but not a muz have. =)

Anyway, ive slimmed alil. Hmm.. I tink ive slimmed to a size dat im even slimmer 2yrs ago. LOLZ. Gd for me~ ;)

ok, i din put makeup n the face is alil.. hmmm. i noe. *boo*

Airbrush and Inked

2010-03-10T00:57:00.007+08:00

Days as usual. Was happy wen RG* winked at me. I was literally melting k. M-E-L-T. But dis happiness din last long wen i saw twinkle. He was passed me n we juz nod our head and he walk off. Wat a 180 degree change. As if the siamese twins has split into the individual human beings.. it's only less den a mth.

My heart, once again, hurts.

I told mike:"tattoo isnt as painful as hw i feel rite nw."

Mike says:"At least it's not permanent."

Which i agree on wat he says. It'll b over soon. Soon. Breathe on gal, u can do it!

This is RG. ;)

Ok, i noe ur gonna ask me y r we huggin tgt or wat.. But im not gonna tell. LOLZ. =P

"PF, listen up. U beta dun let twinkle heartache or make him sad. Im letting him go bcoz i love twinkle. I love dis guy and dat's y i shld b happy wen he found his happiness. Dun ever let me noe u did smting behind his back. I'll make sure u wun b dat pretty anymore. *roar*"

Shrek and B's gal

2010-03-05T11:14:00.001+08:00

Yes, Shrek. Dis is the new name for twinkle. Bcoz the gal he likes call.. Nice. Ppl got couple name tgt. Wat abt me? Any character wif Angeline/ Angie/ Athenlea? NOPE. *boo*

Not talkin anymore means my hrt ache alil. It's like u noe he's ther yet u cant talk to him. I dun like dis feeling. *uber boo*

I got a new name call B's gal. Yeah~ B for butter and B for him. Coz his name starts wif B. HAIZ. It's time to go, it's time to go. It's time to let it go. *boo boo boo*

Rant!

2010-03-04T10:41:00.002+08:00

Yesh, i wan to rant abt it! I wan to rant abt twinkle! "Stupid uncle, Stupid uncle , Stupid uncle , Stupid uncle!!"

Ppl hugggggggggggeed me till so tight u dun even care~ ARGH! Even if i tell u im not comfortable, U TELL ME DAT FELLOW IS NICE! =_= ARGH!

I noe dat fellow is drunk. BUT I DUNNO HIM AT ALL WAT.

Haiz, wateva. U dun like me for a tiny bit, dat's y u dun care or dun feel much. I cant fault u on dat too. But still.. ARGh!!!!

=( Hw i wish u'll care.. U can juz ask me whether im fine anot..

Should i leave

2010-03-03T14:40:00.004+08:00

The Waltz - Silje Nergaard

Strike up the band let it play
Love songs to haunt me and I will stay
But when it comes to a waltz
Both words and music will ring false

For you waltzed in and spun my world
Around in dizzy dance I swirled
But suddenly you waltzed away from me

Those violins, they must go
So no careless hand with a bow
May play on the strings of my heart
And make me remember how lovers part

How you waltzed in and spun my world
Around in dizzy dance I swirled
But suddenly you waltzed away from me

Strike up the band let it play
Whatever it chooses and I will say
Play me a waltz if you will
I'll sit here and listen waiting until

My love returns to take my world
And spin it round in dizzy swirl
Where girl loves boy and boy loves girl
And feet don't touch the ground

I always hear this song when im upset. Dis song.. juz desc hw i feel.

I should leave dun i. I should juz tell myself he's juz sm one who do not wan to risk friendship, sm one whois nice to everybody, sm one who will nv be my sm one.

Great, nw i juz sound like a moaning love idiot dat moan when i brought all dis to myself. Y cant i juz simply treat him as a fren. Y cant i. N like wat he says, it's not a life and death matter so it shld b easier. Haiz. Prob it'll b easier if he din walk in deep. But.. he juz walk alil far too deep nw.

"How you waltzed in and spun my world Around in dizzy dance I swirled But suddenly you waltzed away from me "

have you ever seen the rain

2010-03-02T16:42:00.006+08:00

Dis song was in my head round and round. Xday was a happy day coz.. I feel happy! Alot of happy things happens~ *sweet*

But dis morning i feel alil heavy. Twinkle posted dis:

"An action translate a reaction. A reaction desires an expectation which often not leads to dissatisfaction which equals miscommunication. If it isn't about life and death, take it a lil easier. Life is much more than tat. Juz look around, at e people who care, the things they did or will do fer u when it matters... Now, that's taking things fer granted :)"

Dat's not the usual him. V rarely he will post such stuff. Well, as i mentioned b4, he is always ther for his frens. Which of coz i believes his frens love him as well. I dunno wat happen to trigger dis post but ive asked him whether he's fine or not.

He say he's fine and i guess i shall not doubt any of it. He dun confide to me anw. But i feel like telling him dat i'll always b available to lend a listening ears even it's 3 or 4 am in the nite. Afterall, he is ther for me wen times are tough.

"FYI, im always here.."

Do i want a gd bye

2010-02-27T05:29:00.004+08:00

Do i reali want a gd bye. Today's performance was great. Everything was ok and we r happy abt it.

Bought him herbal tea xday and he commented so nice. Asked him if he wants again, he told me he has bought for me. Hw sweet dis can be. Dis kind of tot, dun even appears in my last r/s.

Was preparing to go stage and i was so uptight. I has been telling myself: "i wan to give him a hug, i wan to give him a hug." N yet, i did not. Chicken out is the word. But den, he gave me one. Den again, hw sweet can dis be.

After dnr, went to St James. He auto came and dance wif me. I was surprised by it coz i nv tot i had a chance to get so close to him. It was reali a v memorable nite. Wat makes it more memorable is.. a gal came. N.. it was a clear shown of interest. Mayb ive mistaken, mayb im wrong. But if i wan to let go, i mite as well tell myself dat he has sm one in mind but unfortunately is not u.

As the clock strike 12, everything will be returned. The closeness, the fun, the caring-ness.. Everything will return to normal. It has been such a fantasy week. From mon onwards, i will have no agenda to give him a call, to msg him or to msn him.

It hurts badly ladies and gentleman. It hurts.

Dear Uncle,

Thank you for sharing love and concern wen my world seems crashing. U build it up but u dun kill it. U let it die slowly. I cant guess wat u wan, but maybe like wat u say b4, u got no obligations to me so dat's y u'll appear to more charming to me. And i noe, i'll nv be ur type of gal. Bcoz u din even wan to let me in ur hrt at all. I guess like wat u say, so long it's not a life and death prob, it can b healed and it can be solved. To the next gf dat u gonna have, FYI, i reali envy u. Take gd care uncle, take gd care of urself. Dun always run here and ther den forget to take care of ur own needs. U need rest too. U need to love urself more. Zhi dao mah?

Love,
Auntie.

Adrian Sweetie Pie

2010-02-25T17:23:00.004+08:00

Ha~ Yup, Adrian. Everybody has a cupid and wat is ur cupid name? Mine called Adrian. Bcoz it's the first name dat came across my mind. Dun ask me y man. LOLZ.

Im going to rehearsal soon and today is my last time rehearsing wif him. Closure will end today as well. Bcoz tml me and him will be standing infront, on the stage of 700 ppl.

As i listened to the recordings dat i record, it makes me smile. Bcoz listening to his voice always smoothe me. Even if he talk on the phone wif me, i always feel v comforting. Dis is very verified by everybody who was wif me wen times r tougher.

Alrite, time to go. ;)

"Ur voice has successfully captivate me, u shining lil star. ;)"

Spinnin'

2010-02-24T17:30:00.005+08:00

Yeah~ it's like same as dis song:"U spin me rite round baby rite round". Was on mc today but im in ofc nw. Well, clearing sm of my work of coz. N oso later have rehearsal.

So, 2 thing.

1) Songs pretty much settled. So we'll sing:

-Have your ever seen the rain

-I dont want to talk about it

-Hotel California

-Stand by me

- Black Magic Woman (dis makes me luff real hard!)

2) Ive gotten alcohol poisoning. WTF.

Drank way tooo much on sat n it's the aftermath hangover dat's causing toxic in my body. I noe im wasting my life alil but i guess i shld enjoy abit for nw until im on leash again. *boo*

Well, im slping nw everybody~ Been rehearsing every single nite. Im tired n so is he. He juz look so tired, shagged. Poor thing. Hw i wish i can do smting abt it but nope, base on a friendship, i can only buy him those lozenges and help him wif sm stuff so he dun reali move ard much.

This is the 1st week dat ive seen him so many times in my life. Lolx. So many times dat a part of me is saying:"Eh, can we dun see each other for a day or two." lolz. Nonsense i noe. Coz after dis week, prob i wun b able to hang ard wif him anymore. So, juz enjoy dis week bah.

If you want the rainbow, you must to put up wif the rain. D. Parton.

"I like it wen u call me stubborn gal for not changin into iphone. I absolutely love it wen u give me names. Bcoz it's personalise. I love it wen u talk closely to my ear. I love it wen u stand so close to me like we r siamese twins. =)"

Rehearsal

2010-02-20T01:16:00.003+08:00

Juz finish my rehearsal. Was a v nervous rehearsal but lucky i survived. Prob is bcoz of CNY or wat, i dun get the closure anymore. And hence, im slowly letting it go. Rem ive mentioned dat we'll nv b tgt. Yup, im sticking to dis belief.

Ther's no reason y but we juz cant b tgt. Prob, we r too alike. So much alike dat it's hard to b a pair. Plus, im enjoyin my single life nw. Which is smting ive not done for the past 8 yrs.

But still, i love his accompany. Always makes me so comfortable n yet at the same time alil disturbing. LOLZ.

"Have a gd rest Uncle, u reali dun look gd. ;)"

Chest hurts~

2010-02-17T17:57:00.003+08:00

*cough cough* great, im coughing. Muz b the weather~ Dis yr, Mr Tiger muz b a v sexy tiger. Bcoz.. IT'S SO HOT! lol. Hope it makes ur smile alil. ;)

Chest hurts nw. Dunno y. Breathe in... Pain. Breathe out... No pain. Wat's wrong wif me. *boo*

Nothing much dat i wan to post abt~ Will post more later~

"Keep walking, rainbow is juz infront. =)"

Telepathy

2010-02-13T02:06:00.004+08:00

It's a telepathy nite. Among so many ppl, i spotted u. N bcoz once u r on msn, im typin n so do u. A "Not sleeping???" and "wah sey uncle~ still awake ar" was hit tgt. Instantly, u brighten up my nite. I love the chat today. ;)

Urs n my point of love, being single. And as usual, u always c thru me. A "I'm sorry, always keepin u in checks" makes u sound more sweet den ever.

N my dear sweetheart is being so sweet dat she's writting emails to cupid. Make sure cupid send the rite signal. *loves*
But once again, i noe. It's best to have things at it is rite nw, rather den further developing bcoz i cant give much.

Smtimes, u makes me believe dat u have feel for me, smtimes i juz feel like it's noting. And guess wat, im so used to it already. Initially i cant take it but nw, im ok. So dis is wat i mean dat wen u pray for strength, god dun gives u instantly but he let u walk thru a few obstacles to bcum stronger.

Same as generousity. If i wish i was more generous in terms of r/s, god dun gave it to me. He let me learn it upon a man dat will makes me jealous all the time.

Well, other den my encounter wif uncle, today ther's smting imprint on me strongly.

-Mike cried.

Not to say dat ther's a few tears but a teary eyes. Dis is the first time he behave lidis infront of me.

we r having coffee at starbuck today, it's been like a few mths ever since we have a heart to heart chat bcoz he's busy wif ivy. I told him im ok, he knew i was not reali ok yet but he say he'll believe me bcoz believing dat u r ok, is a gd motivation n i told him ppl dun die bcoz lack of love and i told him im stronger rite nw. More independent. Den i guess he juz feel for me bcoz ive went thru a stage which is smting hard for me to pass.

I seriously love dis bff of mine. <3

"Dear BFF, u juz makes me love u even more. =) "

Twinkle says:

"Patient"

"It's like im fallin in love wif a lion wher im the stupid lamb"

Happy and happy

2010-02-12T01:25:00.004+08:00

Am happy bcoz:

-Shishi is hm and she's feeling beta~~ =D
-Instead of 1 song, it's 3 songs.
-I get to rehearsal with him like 3 times? =D
-My makeup is getting photographer's attention.

I got 2 offer on DIS SAT but i turn down. Bcoz it's CNY and apparently the photographer dun care.

Y?

BCOZ THEY R NOT CHINESE~

Simple reason. LOLZ. But i do love work wif foreign photographers. They jus let u roam, let u draw freely. Simply love it. Oh, i love brazilian models too. Wayyyyyy better den sm~ *ahem* nationality models. (ask me if u wan to noe which nationality models is kinda stuck-up)

As for uncle, yes, it's self control. I noe i noe~ It's not gonna happen but i guess i juz love the way things r rite nw. Simple yet weighting heavily.

Hurts so Good

When I was a young boy,
Said put away those young boy ways
Now that I'm gettin'
older, so much older
I love all those young boy days.
With a girl like you,
With a girl like you,
Lord knows there are
things we can do, baby,
Just me and you.
Come on and make it

CHORUS:
Hurt so good.
Come on baby, make it hurt so good.
Sometimes love don't
feel like it should.
You make it hurt so good.
[ Find more Lyrics at www.mp3lyrics.org/1DYV ]

Don't have to be so exiting.
Just tryin' to give myself a
little bit of fun, yeah.
You always look so invitin'
You ain't as green as you are young
Hey baby, its you.
Come on, girl, now, its you.
Sink your teeth right
through my bones, baby.
Let's see what we can do.
Come on and make it

Chorus

I ain't talkin' no big deals
I ain't made no plans myself.
I ain't talkin' no high heels
Maybe we could walk around all day long,
walk around all day long.

Chorus twice

Hey, hey

Hmm~ it makes me tink dat r we gonna do wat the vids does.. LOLZ! Oh, mike says dis is a song dat is our song. (me n uncle) And i muz admit, dis is reali our song. (-_-")..

I know I stand in line
Until you think you have the time
To spend an evening with me
And if we go someplace to dance
I know that there's a chance
You won't be leaving with me

Then afterwards we drop into a quiet little place
And have a drink or two
And then I go and spoil it all
By saying something stupid
Like I love you

I can see it in your eyes
You still despise the same old lines
You heard the night before
And though it's just a line to you
For me it's true
And never seemed so right before

I practice every day to find some clever
lines to say
To make the meaning come true
But then I think I'll wait until the evening
gets late
And I'm alone with you

The time is right
Your perfume fills my head
The stars get red
And oh the night's so blue
And then I go and spoil it all
By saying something stupid
Like I love you
I love you...

Twinkle says:

We only live once so leave ya baggage behind. Even if it's wrong, it's always better to seek for the rainbow infront. ;)

"Do u noe, wen u say dream of sweet lil rainbow.. i dreamt of u."

I dont wanna talk abt it.

2010-02-10T23:22:00.004+08:00

Yup, song of Rod Steward. Rec'd a call today and i was being asked to sing dis song wif sm one for my company dnr. Sm one dat makes me smile so easily. Goodness. I wan to reject dis but tinkin of able to sing duet wif him, it makes my heart twinklin a lil. It's a nice feeling and i like it. ;)

Updates on shishi:

Her opt was a success and she still in hospital rite nw. Opt went well, ive post the pics in my FB so ur can check it out from ther. Tml den i'll pick her back. She's suffering alil depression rite nw, but i guess it's due to being cage for too long. Poor lil ones. So~ will update ur again!

CNY is comin n yet, i dun feel any joyous feel.

I can tell by your eyes that you've prob'bly been cryin' forever,
and the stars in the sky don't mean nothin' to you, they're a mirror.
I don't want to talk about it, how you broke my heart.
If I stay here just a little bit longer,
If I stay here, won't you listen to my heart, whoa, heart?

If I stand all alone, will the shadow hide the color of my heart;
blue for the tears, black for the night's fears.
The star in the sky don't mean nothin' to you, they're a mirror.
I don't want to talk about it, how you broke my heart.
If I stay here just a little bit longer,
if I stay here, won't you listen to my heart, whoa, heart?
I don't want to talk about it, how you broke this ol' heart.

If I stay here just a little bit longer,
if I stay here, won't you listen to my heart, whoa, heart?
My heart, whoa, heart.

Juz a like twinklin notes:

It's u dat builds me up. I noe it's nv a chance, nv a feel but.. I do like u. It's diff from the time i told u. I cherish our frenship nw more den ever. It's the most precious thing rite nw for me other den shishi. Ur advise, ur accompany.. Juz makes me feel so comfortable. Appreciate on the day wher u came down wif ur grp of best fren juz to make me smile, make me feel beta. Appreciate u make time for me while bringing ur lil bastard down. I appreciate wat u did. So much dat i feel dat i dun even c other guys as my options. Thank you Uncle~ ;)

Headache

2010-02-09T00:27:00.003+08:00

Yup, im having headache nw. Shishi is hospitalised nw and ther's nothing much i can do. Went for photoshoots xday and i feel like im a queen. Yesh, literally a queen for 4 and half hrs. Went to snapz image and did my free makeover. I like the image stylist, Kelvin. He's such a sweetie pie. Well, wat u expects from a single lovely woman. Yes, lovely is the focus coz.. twinkle says so. ;)

So he's being such a sweetheart wen attending to me. The warmth dat he gave, gd lord, is like blazing hot sun. Makes me wet.. Oopz, sweat i mean. LOLZ. He style my hair, hold my hand, those lil action.. etc etc. I feel so god damn sweet! Nice chap but end up i din get the package from they coz.. I NEED TO $ TO GO NYC! So, no luck for u kelvin.
"Thanks for treating me like a queen. N, juz wan to tell u.. U makes me feel like kissing u~ LOLZ."

Anw, back to shishi. Shishi is bleeding profusely from her virgina wen i juz came back from the shoots. By den it's alr like 11pm! Den waited till today den go c doc. So nw hospitalised. Wanted to go for opt but muz wait till the blood test out first. Haiz. Im seriously feeling vexed abt it. Reali.

Bleeding profusely in virgina: A female dog that is bleeding and who is not in heat may be suffering from a gynecological infection called Pyometra. This condition involves an infection in the womb resulting in green or red thick discharge. This is a serious problem that may require surgery to save your dog's life and in severe cases removal of the ovaries and the womb.
If the blood is thin then it could be an Ovarian Cyst. Treatment involves hormone therapy or a hysterectomy.

- from: http://www.dog-health-guide.org/dogbleeding.html

"Dear god, pls let me b alil wilful n have her for a few more yrs. Pls god, pls love me dis time rd.."

Worried

2010-02-02T10:34:00.003+08:00

As usual, bloggin in ofc. Dis mornie, shishi wasnt slpin beside me. I was so afraid. Bcoz last nite, she has puked and she has not been eating much. Restless.. v restless. Dis is the signs wher dogs r leaving. Im so afraid dat she'll leave me any moment nw. I noe she will have to go but at least pls wait till i took the shoots. Im going for a photoshoots in march n im bringin her along.

Dear god, pls watch over my shishi. Pls dun bring her back to your goodself bcoz.. i love her more den anything else. U'll b takin my life away as well if u decide to keep her by ur side. I reali love dis queen of mine.

"Im scare."

Twinkling hard

2010-02-01T01:48:00.004+08:00

Yeap, twinkling hard. Im a single woman nw and i feel dat life is still the same. Nothing much but ive always been single. With or w/o him.

I went to sweetheart's place and stay and it's the place wen i decide to announce the death of precious. Ever since a mth ago, i've practically been crying. Nw. i realised ive been mourning and not crying.

Everybody has been accompanyin me. But i love twinkle's accompany the most. Bcoz he has been thru life and death so dat's y his opinion is diff as well. Mike is busy fallin in love so dat makes twinkle more impt to me. It's only him dat can makes me smile nw.

Today, we met. After precious's funeral. He told me smting dat i feel like sharing.

"Bcoz the r/s u r having is a LDR, so dat's y u always in honeymoon period. Ever since he enters army, u wait. Wen book out time, meet up and den he book in again. Den wen he goes oversea and study, u wait too. Wen he came back, it's honeymoon again. So dat's y u love dis man so much. Bcoz u r always in honeymoon."

I feel so true. so true to dat, yes. Me n precious has nv had a normal r/s b4. Not to name it as normal, but those 2 workin adult r/s. So dat's y it makes me feel so heartpain wen the evil bastard says he dun love me anymore. I agreed to wat twinkle says.

Ive decide to move on. Bcoz im stepping out of the shit hole. Twinkle says:"turn a new leaf" Precious is gone, ther's notin much for me to stay as well. The evil bastard is diggin himself a deep shit hole bcoz he's gonna b a 3rd party of a taiwan gal. A taiwan gal dat he barely knew for more den a week. I do not know hw will his mum react bcoz his mum hates 3rd party the most. I jus feel so sorry for his mum. Dis will be my last worryin post and after dis, dat evil bastard got noting to do wif me anymore.

Bcoz.. twinkle asked me to move on. I hearts twinkle alot bcoz he nv fail to makes me luff. n dis, everybody knows. But dear readers, dun b mistaken. Twinkle and i can nv b tgt. He'll b juz like Mike, my BFF. I totally love dis twinkle of mine. ;)

I absolutely hearts dis fren of mine.

"Thank you for accompanying me.. I always feel beta when u talk to me. =)"

Gd Bye

2010-01-31T14:02:00.002+08:00

I would like to say, GD BYE to my precious dat has been wif me for the past 3 n 1/2yr. Thank you for so much love dat you have gave to me and i feel im such a lucky gal in dis whole wide world. And nw, as i was mourning over ur death, i hope dat god will look after u in the heaven. Pls wait for me wen times come, I wld love to continue our r/s. But as of nw, pls do not watch over the Ng Choon Wee dat ive once known. He has changed into a guy which ive do not noe anymore.

Gd bye precious.

"thank you for all the love dear dear. Baby love u too. *hugz*"

Out of reach

2010-01-30T21:52:00.005+08:00

im.. speechless at dis moment. First time, i cld feel hw hard is it to breathe. First time, i cld feel hw hurt my heart can be.. Im.. shattered.

Knew the signs wasnt right
I was stupid, for a while
Swept away, by you
And now I feel like a fool

So confused
My hearts bruised
Was I ever loved by you?
Out of reach, so far I never had your heart
Out of reach, couldnt see We were never met to be

Catch myself, from despair
I could drown if I stay here
Keeping busy, everyday I know I will be ok

But Im
So confused
My heart's bruised
Was I ever loved by you?

Out of reach, so far I never had your heart
Out of reach, couldnt see We were never met to be

So much hurt, so much pain
Takes a while to regain
What is lost inside And I hope that in time
You'll be out of my mind I'll be over you

And know Im
So confused
My hearts bruised
Was I ever loved by you?
Out of reach, so far I never had your heart
Out of reach, couldnt see We were never met to be
Out of reach, so far, You never gave your heart
In my reach, I can see There's a life out there for me

"Im sorry dat ive turned u into smone dat who i cant recognise anymore. Im truly sorry"

click click

2010-01-25T22:41:00.003+08:00

Yup, click click. Dat's the sound i made while i type dis post coz... my nails is sooooo long nw! going to batam dis weekend wif bestie n bestie's sis!!

Well, dis few weeks ive been emotionally unstable. Even till xday. My doc gave me smting to take so dat i can slp beta. I hate waking up halfway and sob terribly. It's not healthy but i'll quit on it.

Wat i realised is dat everything happen for me last yr was reali reali coincidential. Bcoz wen im most busy, love is gone. Im busy wif my sch, my career, shishi, my family and financial den.. love is gone. I cant fault anyone but myself. Bcoz i shld have able handle it. I shld have handle it all. Regardless hw stress i am, hw late i stay in ofc everyday, hw tight my pocket is. But den again, i can only blame myself for setting my love to a lower priority.

I assume.. I tot.. but who confirm.

Wat's ther to cry nw when it has happen and over. im still hoping for a miracle but i noe.. miracle dun happen to ppl who has been selfish. N yes, im the selfish one who give up on dis love dat once was so precious to me. So precious dat.. it'll always be my precious.

"Dear dear.. baby reali miss u.."

Red Eye Monstie

2010-01-14T16:44:00.002+08:00

=( Got sore eye.. kinda bad. But i went to work anyway. Suppose to half day today n guess wat.. IM STILL IN THE OFC! (-_-").. work juz getting abit too much. Yes, juz starting for the yr n my work is flowing in. Anyway, MC tml. So mayb i'll stay at hm n rot. In case go out n spread to ppl. Doc sm more scare me. say if at nite i feel pain muz go A&E alr. (-_-")..

"Im feeling happy dat im able to console ppl when they r feeling down. As much as i wan, i wld love to console myself too."

Alive

2010-01-12T00:40:00.004+08:00

Yes, alive is the word i need to learn. I did gain sm, i did lost sm. I gained my careers in Makeup but in exchange, i lost smting dat is so precious to me. It hurts but i need to take the fact dat no pain, no gain. Nothing much i can do except hoping for a miracle. So, let's start praying from nw. *pray*

Alrite, my pdr gang celebrate bday for me.

070809 - Swissotel Merchant Court wif PDR gang

My lovely pdr gang celebrated my lonely bday. Alrite, even thou i dun reali wan to celebrate initially. Ha. But still, we celebrated anw. it's always so nice to hang ard wif them. reali. Super happy. <3

Nicky and me

Annisan n me

YQ n me

making a wish~ Smile!

Happy bday to myself. Ive forgotten wat i wished for. LOLZ. getting old. Tsk tsk.

Nitez peeps. I'll regularly blog nw. Im bacckkkiiiieeeee! =D

"awaits for the day."

Cant breathe

2010-01-08T00:16:00.003+08:00

Sorry guys, i noe i shld updates u sm pics but i guess i have to blog out wat i feel rite nw.

As my title mention, yes, i cant breathe.

Alot of things has happened and i simply cant do anything. Wateva i do, i'll be wrong. Even if my intital tots for sm one is out for his gd, the outcome will b wrong too. I cant take it anymore. I reali cant. Ive been crying day n nite for the past few days.

Wat's going on. Wher's my happy life. Im going bonkers real real soon. I reali dunno hw long i can take it.

My precious is still in brissie but wee is back.

"I mentioned b4, if u ever leave, pls take me along. N nw, i mean it."

oOopsy~

2009-12-12T01:23:00.001+08:00

Oh! i realised i din post another bday pics of anny, yq n nicky boy celebrates wif me de! will post soon coz.. it's 1.24am n im gonna wake up at 6am later. =( Nitez peeps~!