Im torn.
Im upset.
Im confused.
Im tired.
Everytime when im slightly disappointed, the feeling just feel so surreal that reminds myself why am i allowing people to disappoint me, why am i still not protecting myself, why am i that hostile, why am i so defensive.
I was never such a person and why am i displaying all those evil side to my poor Autumn. He's a poor boy that is taking all my nonsense. I am grateful to have someone to treat me like his most precious item, like his glass flower. Yet.. i couldnt explain why am i so demanding towards him.
Is it because Summer has really gave me so much insecurity and now im just living in a shell that i dont allow anyone that claim to love me to bully me anymore. Or im have not recover from the previous scar.
I seriously hate myself for being a bitch to my Autumn, because he dont deserve to tolerate this side of me. He deserves better. Where's the better me :(
