Headache

Yup, im having headache nw. Shishi is hospitalised nw and ther's nothing much i can do. Went for photoshoots xday and i feel like im a queen. Yesh, literally a queen for 4 and half hrs. Went to snapz image and did my free makeover. I like the image stylist, Kelvin. He's such a sweetie pie. Well, wat u expects from a single lovely woman. Yes, lovely is the focus coz.. twinkle says so. ;)

So he's being such a sweetheart wen attending to me. The warmth dat he gave, gd lord, is like blazing hot sun. Makes me wet.. Oopz, sweat i mean. LOLZ. He style my hair, hold my hand, those lil action.. etc etc. I feel so god damn sweet! Nice chap but end up i din get the package from they coz.. I NEED TO $ TO GO NYC! So, no luck for u kelvin.
"Thanks for treating me like a queen. N, juz wan to tell u.. U makes me feel like kissing u~ LOLZ."

Anw, back to shishi. Shishi is bleeding profusely from her virgina wen i juz came back from the shoots. By den it's alr like 11pm! Den waited till today den go c doc. So nw hospitalised. Wanted to go for opt but muz wait till the blood test out first. Haiz. Im seriously feeling vexed abt it. Reali.

Bleeding profusely in virgina: A female dog that is bleeding and who is not in heat may be suffering from a gynecological infection called Pyometra. This condition involves an infection in the womb resulting in green or red thick discharge. This is a serious problem that may require surgery to save your dog's life and in severe cases removal of the ovaries and the womb.
If the blood is thin then it could be an Ovarian Cyst. Treatment involves hormone therapy or a hysterectomy.

- from: http://www.dog-health-guide.org/dogbleeding.html

"Dear god, pls let me b alil wilful n have her for a few more yrs. Pls god, pls love me dis time rd.."

Worried

As usual, bloggin in ofc. Dis mornie, shishi wasnt slpin beside me. I was so afraid. Bcoz last nite, she has puked and she has not been eating much. Restless.. v restless. Dis is the signs wher dogs r leaving. Im so afraid dat she'll leave me any moment nw. I noe she will have to go but at least pls wait till i took the shoots. Im going for a photoshoots in march n im bringin her along.

Dear god, pls watch over my shishi. Pls dun bring her back to your goodself bcoz.. i love her more den anything else. U'll b takin my life away as well if u decide to keep her by ur side. I reali love dis queen of mine.

"Im scare."

Twinkling hard

Yeap, twinkling hard. Im a single woman nw and i feel dat life is still the same. Nothing much but ive always been single. With or w/o him.

I went to sweetheart's place and stay and it's the place wen i decide to announce the death of precious. Ever since a mth ago, i've practically been crying. Nw. i realised ive been mourning and not crying.

Everybody has been accompanyin me. But i love twinkle's accompany the most. Bcoz he has been thru life and death so dat's y his opinion is diff as well. Mike is busy fallin in love so dat makes twinkle more impt to me. It's only him dat can makes me smile nw.

Today, we met. After precious's funeral. He told me smting dat i feel like sharing.

"Bcoz the r/s u r having is a LDR, so dat's y u always in honeymoon period. Ever since he enters army, u wait. Wen book out time, meet up and den he book in again. Den wen he goes oversea and study, u wait too. Wen he came back, it's honeymoon again. So dat's y u love dis man so much. Bcoz u r always in honeymoon."

I feel so true. so true to dat, yes. Me n precious has nv had a normal r/s b4. Not to name it as normal, but those 2 workin adult r/s. So dat's y it makes me feel so heartpain wen the evil bastard says he dun love me anymore. I agreed to wat twinkle says.

Ive decide to move on. Bcoz im stepping out of the shit hole. Twinkle says:"turn a new leaf" Precious is gone, ther's notin much for me to stay as well. The evil bastard is diggin himself a deep shit hole bcoz he's gonna b a 3rd party of a taiwan gal. A taiwan gal dat he barely knew for more den a week. I do not know hw will his mum react bcoz his mum hates 3rd party the most. I jus feel so sorry for his mum. Dis will be my last worryin post and after dis, dat evil bastard got noting to do wif me anymore.

Bcoz.. twinkle asked me to move on. I hearts twinkle alot bcoz he nv fail to makes me luff. n dis, everybody knows. But dear readers, dun b mistaken. Twinkle and i can nv b tgt. He'll b juz like Mike, my BFF. I totally love dis twinkle of mine. ;)

I absolutely hearts dis fren of mine.

"Thank you for accompanying me.. I always feel beta when u talk to me. =)"

Gd Bye

I would like to say, GD BYE to my precious dat has been wif me for the past 3 n 1/2yr. Thank you for so much love dat you have gave to me and i feel im such a lucky gal in dis whole wide world. And nw, as i was mourning over ur death, i hope dat god will look after u in the heaven. Pls wait for me wen times come, I wld love to continue our r/s. But as of nw, pls do not watch over the Ng Choon Wee dat ive once known. He has changed into a guy which ive do not noe anymore.

Gd bye precious.

"thank you for all the love dear dear. Baby love u too. *hugz*"

Out of reach

im.. speechless at dis moment. First time, i cld feel hw hard is it to breathe. First time, i cld feel hw hurt my heart can be.. Im.. shattered.



Knew the signs wasnt right
I was stupid, for a while
Swept away, by you
And now I feel like a fool

So confused
My hearts bruised
Was I ever loved by you?
Out of reach, so far I never had your heart
Out of reach, couldnt see We were never met to be

Catch myself, from despair
I could drown if I stay here
Keeping busy, everyday I know I will be ok

But Im
So confused
My heart's bruised
Was I ever loved by you?

Out of reach, so far I never had your heart
Out of reach, couldnt see We were never met to be

So much hurt, so much pain
Takes a while to regain
What is lost inside And I hope that in time
You'll be out of my mind I'll be over you

And know Im
So confused
My hearts bruised
Was I ever loved by you?
Out of reach, so far I never had your heart
Out of reach, couldnt see We were never met to be
Out of reach, so far, You never gave your heart
In my reach, I can see There's a life out there for me

"Im sorry dat ive turned u into smone dat who i cant recognise anymore. Im truly sorry"

click click

Yup, click click. Dat's the sound i made while i type dis post coz... my nails is sooooo long nw! going to batam dis weekend wif bestie n bestie's sis!!

Well, dis few weeks ive been emotionally unstable. Even till xday. My doc gave me smting to take so dat i can slp beta. I hate waking up halfway and sob terribly. It's not healthy but i'll quit on it.

Wat i realised is dat everything happen for me last yr was reali reali coincidential. Bcoz wen im most busy, love is gone. Im busy wif my sch, my career, shishi, my family and financial den.. love is gone. I cant fault anyone but myself. Bcoz i shld have able handle it. I shld have handle it all. Regardless hw stress i am, hw late i stay in ofc everyday, hw tight my pocket is. But den again, i can only blame myself for setting my love to a lower priority.

I assume.. I tot.. but who confirm.

Wat's ther to cry nw when it has happen and over. im still hoping for a miracle but i noe.. miracle dun happen to ppl who has been selfish. N yes, im the selfish one who give up on dis love dat once was so precious to me. So precious dat.. it'll always be my precious.

"Dear dear.. baby reali miss u.."

Red Eye Monstie

=( Got sore eye.. kinda bad. But i went to work anyway. Suppose to half day today n guess wat.. IM STILL IN THE OFC! (-_-").. work juz getting abit too much. Yes, juz starting for the yr n my work is flowing in. Anyway, MC tml. So mayb i'll stay at hm n rot. In case go out n spread to ppl. Doc sm more scare me. say if at nite i feel pain muz go A&E alr. (-_-")..

"Im feeling happy dat im able to console ppl when they r feeling down. As much as i wan, i wld love to console myself too."